No New Years Day to celebrate
No chocolate covered candy hearts to give away
No first of spring
No song to sing
In fact heres just another ordinary day
No April rain
No flowers bloom
No wedding Saturday within the month of June
But what it is, is something true
Made up of these three words that I must say to you...

Well uhh yeah............soooo I notice in my last post, I was all "woohoo job search yayaya".........well umm scratch that ish from the record!!!  Job search = booo!!! 

In other news :)

IT'S RAINING BABIES!!!!  My ex just had a baby on the 22nd! (well his babys mother just had a baby, gotta clarify so you guys don't start raising eyebrows lol)  She's too cute, my cousin is due in 3 weeks, my other cousin has a child about 3-4 weeks old now, and my best friend will be having her first in September.  And me....well, I've got ummm about 4-6 years before I can put myself in that category.  So whats the deal really though, everywhere I turn, someones poppin one of these lil' fuckers out!  You know, I had a plan....I should be married by now myself, and perhaps preggo.  Granted I'm only 23, but damnit I had things to do lol.  But I mean its all good, I'm not bitter or depressed, in fact I'm happy that I can still hold a baby, go awwwww, and pass that sucker back!


OOOH OOOH, so I went to this summer jam concert that my radio station has every year.  I went with my pregnant cousin and 3 other guys.  It was AWESOME!  I didnt even really want to go at first because I'm not big on the whole clubbing scene but I was glad to see this was different.  Yeah some of you might be like DUH, but you dont know about the town I live in lol.  I saw 112 (mmmm sexxi!), mc lyte (she did the dayum thing!), keisha cole (her ass can sing live wooo), but Teairra Mari........not so much, I mean she's really pretty but she needs to sit in the studio a little more haha.  Ermmm Juvenile was there doin his thang, but 112 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *fans self*

Ummmm oh, I also went to an open mic that some friends had, I usually go to their open mic stuff, well I usually went before the accident, but I'm starting to get back out more and I was glad they finally had something in the town I live in.  Heres their site so you can see them doin the dang thing! http://fortifiedonline.com/index.php    Thats my girl soultry doin it for the ladies hehe :)

Yeah so thats all i have to say right now so uhh come back in a few days or somethin :p  I shall try to keep this more updated this time.....but I cant promise anything lol.

Okay..............so ummm its been a loooooooooooong time since I've posted up here n stuff.  People keep fussin at me to post sooo here I go. Wow okay so umm I got in an accident last September..24th was the date. I was in the hospital 11 days and have been recovering for the past 6 months.  So I almost died n stuff but I'm okay now and I wont go into that too much....I'll save that for another blog. 

So the job search is officially on! Woohoo......yea so I've become EXTREMELY lazy since the accident and i don't wanna get a job but I've finally been released to work so ya gotta do what ya gotta do.  I've been through so much lately I dont even know where to begin...

I'm single.  Yea....thats a good place to start.  So I think I'm ready to have that closeness with someone, and not just the mental closeness, I want to be near someone, I wanna be able to lean on my mans chest and hear his heart beating and know its beating for me.  I wanna hold someone and have their arms wrapped around just me.  *sighs* ahh to be in love :) hehe.

I feel the need to dedicate a part, if not all of this entry to a special....nosey lil friend of mine. Lol.  How ya doin there buddy :) Lol, i'm not gonna say the name just yet, let my friend figure it out.  Anywho, isnt it funny how people just end up in your life?  I mean like one day you dont know or care who the hell someone is and next thing you know you can't imagine a life without them.  Anywho, this could go on and on but I just wanna say heyy Marky Mark aka MarkX....wonder what the x is for lol i know theres some hidden meaning to it but anywho ;) just want u to know that i appreciate you..

I was reading another friends blog today and she was talking about making mistakes and hurting those closest to you.  I realize that you are bound to hurt those closest to you simply because they are the ones who care the most.  If you dont really care about someone, what they do or say isnt really going to affect you.

Ooooooooooooo Armaggedon is on lol, I'll write more later, must watch movie! *kissez*

Before i say this, I AINT A POET, so dont expect somethin spectacular lol. I just need to give an ode to my boo =)
He is...........

Tears of joy or tears of pain all come form the same place so why is it so shocking when the one who makes you feel like the world is yours makes you feel so empty inside?? Ah well........

Okay so what exactly is trust? And why is it so important that we fully trust others when we've been taught from birth not to?  I never really trusted guys, see its just that they always tend to prove me right.  I get this gut feeling that someone is steppin out on me and I haven't been wrong to this date. Don't worry baby, I havent gotten that feeling with you, lol.  But why is it so difficult to believe that someone loves you enough to be true? Perhaps its the way society raises men....it's good for them to have a lot of women....and as for women, well we just smile hard enough and learn to keep

You know I've just realized, well not realized, but come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older. I went out of town today to go to a friends birthday cookout but before I left I made this CD full of nothin but old school songs. I was loooovin it, lol, at the top of the list was Lauryn Hill - Tell Him...man that song is powerful, maybe not too old school but hey lol.

"Now I may have wisdom and knowledge on Earth
But if I speak wrong then what is it worth?
See what we now know is nothing compared
to the love that was shown when our lives were spared...." isnt that beautifullllllll.

OMG I miss him!!!! :'(   I wish he wasnt so far away :( ah well i know it'll be worth the wait when he gets back.....I've gotta post my thoughts on love when i can give my undivided attention =) coming soon lol

Okay i am dead tired now........must try to sleep lol, i've got 6 and a half hours of good sleepin coming if i go to bed now. 

Okay I have no idea what the hell i'm doing!!! Lol i promise my next entry will be more insightful and whatnot once i figure out wth is going on.

Okay it's been a hella night, so lemme ask this....Have you ever been there for someone sooo much you begin to feel like you should be charging by the hour or something?!?  But seriously I've given sooo much of myself to people at times its crazy.  The worst part is when it comes time for you to be that one to recieve, they're never there.  Or what about when their problems always have to be bigger than yours.......I just hope i'm not that person for someone else...

To my bestest friend, she know who she is, LOVE YOUUUUUU!! Regardless of the ish we go through, remember that, iight.

Ok waaay too much rambling and this is suppose to be a test post...umm testing testing 1..2...1...2